1 part margarine (I use Vitalite)
2 parts flour (I use white flour, but half and half white and brown would work.
1.5 cups flour (approx 12 floz)
0.75 cups marg (approx 6 floz)
6 small-medium apples
Soft brown demerera sugar
Slice the apples as thinly (discarding cores) as you reasonably can with a knife (don’t bother peeling or showing off with a razor blade or owt) and place in a colander, layer by layer.
As you put each layer of apples in, sprinkle the sugar over until it coats the rings of apples evenly. Leave to sit while you make the pastry.
Rub the fat into the flour and a pinch of salt with your fingers until it resembles breadcrumbs. You’ll know you’re rubbing rightly if your palms remain clean (all those incidents with a plastic ruler on the back of my knees in Domestic Science lessons taught me summat).
Add cold water, little by little, to the mix and clump together with your hands or with a spoon until you have a ball o’dough. Don’t over-mix.
Either roll out or flatten with your palms onto a greased baking tray. Then arrange the apple slices on top about two layers thick. Press down against the dough firmly as you lay them.
Dredge the top with cinnamon, sprinkle with a little more sugar if you have a sweet tooth and then bake in a medium cool (gas mark 4-5 / 180C) oven for 30 mins.
Allow to cool before eating or it’ll take the roof of yer mouth off. Best served the following day.
The recipe is taken from the follow-up to Ronny’s low-budget masterpieces ‘The Cake Scoffer’ and ‘The Salad Scoffer’: The Return of The Cake Scoffer.